The Lost Keyblade
by Priest-of-Gaia
Summary: Sora is determined to find out who stole his keyblade. It has to be either Riku, Kairi, Tidus, or that guy at ther fish market. Following is a collection of completely random, and I mean random stories including stealthy Sora and riding a moose.SoraXRiku
1. Spare the Keyblade, Spoil the Keyblader

The Lost Keyblade

It was not fate that woke Sora from his bed at the exact moment someone had been stealing his key blade, it was the fact the person who had been stealing his keyblade was yelling, "I have finally stolen the Keyblade!" which was as good of a hint as any. Sora rose from his bed mildly confused and groggy to see a blurred vision of a person in dark robe and hood. Sora didn't know who the person was and something told him that he was not supposed to either.

"Who are you?" Sora asked, concerned with how this criminal broke into his house, not yet realizing his keyblade was in the person's hands.

"Umm...no?" the person answered in a masculine voice that you could tell was being altered so Sora would not recognize them.

"No? That wasn't a yes or no question. Which must mean you are a theif who broke into my house with the intention of stealing something of great value to me. Eh? Thought I wouldn't notice didn't you? Well I know. Now what do I have that you would want to steal...that's the question thats difficult to answer," Sora said, still not seeing the keyblade in the person's hand.

"Actually, that seems like it would be the easiest question to answer-" The person said, now hiding the keyblade behind his back.

"Silence! You think I would fall the old fake out, swipe, and run? HA!" Sora said confidentally.

"What?" The person said, having less than little of an idea of what he was talking about.

"So you want my necklace, eh?" Sora asked, holding it close.

"Umm...no," The person stated plainly, already having what they came for.

"Well you will never get it! Try and catch me fool!" Sora ran to the window and leaped out, falling a good story before narrowly missing a soft bush and crashing into the concrete walkway. "Ow." Sora quickly got up and scanned the window, expecting to see the thief come barreling out to try and grab his necklace that he so clearly wanted to have possesion over. Suddenly, arms came out to shut the window. _That's strange. Why would he shut that window? Hmm. Perhaps he knew I would look up. But did he know I knew he would know. Perhaps it was a trap. He probably wants to lure me in, then attack me for the necklace. But now I know. Then again, what if he knew that I would know he knew he wanted me to come up, therefore creating a thought that would make me not want to come up because he knew I would then assume he knew that I know that he knew. Yes, that makes perfect sense, I am going in._

Sora bursted through the unlocked door to come face to face with the intruder.

"Ahh!" the person yelled.

"Aha! I knew it!" Sora yelled.

"Knew what?"

"That you would try and bamboozle me out of this necklace," Sora said, grasping it firmly.

"But I don't want your necklace. I just wanted the keyblade," the person finally admitted, holding it up.

"Don't lie to me!" Sora yelled. "I want believe such pathetic lies."

"But I have it right here...in my hand...the keyblade...I stole...from your room," the person stated.

"So you admit to being in my room!"

"You saw me in your room-"

"So what do you want with my necklace?" Sora asked.

"I don't want your necklace, I just wanted your keyblade...I just said that."

"Good gravy! You stole my keyblade you monster. What are you, some kind of mastermind?"

"Umm...sure, I guess," the person answered. Suddenly police sirens rang out. "Damn, that sucks."

"Yes, that's right, the police are coming. You won't get very far fool," Sora said excited. Suddenly the police drove right by the house and down the road. The person who stole the keyblade walked passed Sora, opened the door, and left.

_Yes, he was going to get pretty far,_ Sora thought to himself._ I don't know how he did it, but he is good. Then again...I suppose it could be a she._ Sora walked out of his house and stared around. No one was in sight. He needed to figure out who might steal such a thing from him.

There were four possible suspects. Riku, his best friend, who actually had a spare key to his house and has always been rather fond of his keyblade. Kairi, a little bit of a snobby friend who kind of got jealous when Sora spent too much time with Riku, Tidus, who once stated that his keyblade was...interesting, or the man down at the fish market who told him his hair looked like it had been through hell.

Yes, it was clear that all signs were pointing at the man at the fish market. Sora knew he was suscipicious. He would start there. He crossed into the next yard to take a bike as he himself did not own one. He rode down the road all the way to the market.

There it was, the fish market and standing near the entrance, the 400 pound man with one arm stood trying to hang up a sign. It was him all right. It had to be. It was just too obvious.

"Excuse me?" Sora asked.

"Who are you?" he asked.

"Like you don't know," Sora asked.

"My son?" he asked with a perplexed look. Sora stroked his chin. He definitely wasn't his son. What kind of man wouldn't know their own son.

"Yes," Sora attempted.

"Oh...Well it has been a while," he said with open arms.

"No...no it hasn't," Sora said shaking his head.

"But I haven't seen you in 12 years," he said.

"So you did steal my keyblade?" Sora asked.

"What?"

"My keyblade where is it?"

"How the hell should I know?"

"Well...most thieves would-" Sora was cut off by Riku who walked passed him with a selection of fish to purchase.

"Sora, this guy didn't steal your keyblade," Riku said. It was clear now that this man could not have been the thief. That left the next person on his list, Tidus.

Sora charged down to the beach until he saw Tidus practicing with a wooden sword with Wakka. Sora tackled him to the ground. Then he got up, and tackled Tidus.

"So Tidus, where is it?" Sora yelled, a bit unsure why he actually tackled Wakka.

"What?"

"What you stole," Sora said.

"Umm...Damn...Didn't know you realized that, but in my defense...things have been really hard lately," Tidus pulled out five hundred dollars. Sora cocked his head. So Tidus was not the thief he was looking for, but he did steal money from him. Interesting.

"Now for Kairi," Sora said out loud.

"Why did you tackle me for?" Wakka exclaimed.

"I don't know...I really don't know," Sora said honestly as he raced up to the street.

There she was. As sinister as ever as she helped an old lady cross the street and refused to except pay. She was the one he was looking for.

"So Kairi-" Sora said.

"Oh hi Sora," She said sweetly. The kind of sweet you want to put in your Cheerio's but know it would be more healthy without it. She was definitely the sugar in Sora's Cheerio's.

"So...do any stealing lately?" he asked like a well educated lawer handling a legal affair. Except he wasn't a lawer and he didn't know how to handle a legal affair, and he wasn't that educated...so really it was more like a kid asking if she stole anything lately.

"No," she said. She was good. Real good. She knew exactly what was going on. "What's going on?"

"My keyblade was stolen," Sora said with a glare in his eyes that showed her he was serious, only something was in his eye and it turned out to be more of a confused twitch.

"Are you okay?" she asked.

"Somethings in my eye...There we go," Sora said.

"Okay. So...you do know Riku has a spare key to your house right?" Kairi said. Suddenly it hit Sora.

"Ow!" Sora yelled. There it was. The spare key had hit him. As he picked it up, the odds were turning against Riku. He thought about the awkward moment of when Riku bought the fish at the market. Then it hit him.

"Sora!" Kairi helped him up. It was large blow to the head, by a large fish. It occured to Sora that these where signs. Important signs trying to tell him something. It was like a large Caution sign. Then it hit him.

"DAMMIT!" Sora yelled. The caution sign had really cut into the leg of his pants.

"Look!" Kairi said. Someone was sprinting away, like a fugitve running from a vast array of gunfire ranging from handguns to rifles. Then Sora bent down to fix his pants leg and it hit Kairi, knocking her into the street where a car then smacked into her throwing her into a bus that sent her flying into a sign that doubled back and threw her into a window to house.

"Kairi?" Sora asked. She had left in a hurry. "Oh well." Sora chased after the person and ended up to the front door of Riku's house. Perhaps it was Riku.

As Sora entered he heard something upstairs. He approached the stairs then went up them. He went to the door where he heard the noise and opened the door. He realized then it was the wrong door so he opened the other one and there was Riku with his keyblade and some kind of cup in his hand.

"What is that?" Sora asked.

"Your keyblade," Riku said obviously.

"No the cup?" Sora asked him again.

"It's a cup," Riku answered. Sora couldn't argue there...it was a cup.

"I see you brought me here to kill me," Sora said absurdly.

"Umm...no."

"Oh."

"Actually I just wanted you to drink this," Riku said. Sora eyed him strangely.

"Why did you need my keyblade?"

"Because I needed its power to create most of the tonic for this...I mean for the flavor in the tea-"

"I hate tea-"

"Coffee-"

"I don't like coffee-"

"What the hell do you like-"

"Chocolate milk-"

"Then for the flavor to the chocolate milk," Riku stated holding it out.

"I love chocolate milk!" He grabbed it and drank it quickly. Only after drinking it, he realized it wasn't chocolate milk...and he suddenly was beginning to have the urge to do innappropriate things to Riku.

"That's it," Riku stated. Sora know had impulse after impulse to rip off Riku's clothes. And he did. Sora ripped off Riku's shirt, then pulled off his belt. Riku smiled at the quickness of his tonic and also began taking off Sora's clothes. Sora took control and immediately began sucking on Riku's neck. Riku moaned and let his hand caress Sora's backside. Sora began rub his member against Riku's, creating twin gasps of excitement.

"Oh Sora!" Riku yelled. Suddenly wanting full control over his younger friends body. He grabbed Sora's shoulders and turned him around on his bed. He grabbed Sora's erected cock and stroked it before wrapping his lips around the head of it and sliding his tongue up and down.

"Riku! OH RIKU!" Sora yelled. Riku began to suck his fully grown penis, letting his nose be tickled by Sora's pubic hair everytime he went down. Sora began pushing Riku's head down, wanting the pleasure much faster. Finally, Sora came into Riku's mouth and he licked up every last drop. Sora eyed his friend with passion now. He tackled him and positioned his legs in a spread eagle.

"Wow, Sora...I didn't realize how...OWW...Ohhhh...SORA..." Riku cried as Sora pushed his erection into the entrance to Riku who squirmed on the bed, clutching the sheets as his young friend penetrated him with passionate thrusts. Riku rocked back and forth with Sora's rythym as he contiued to push his cock into Riku as he held his legs.

"You want more?" Sora asked seductively.

"YES! OHHH SORA PLEASE!" Riku begged. Sora lowered his hands on either side of Riku's chest and began to quicked his thrusts into Riku. The bed was bouncing so hard, it was becoming difficult for Sora to maintain his position. Suddenly, an awkward bounce threw Sora from the bed and he tumbled on the floor.

"Sora?" Riku asked desperately. Sora bounced back up and pulled Riku onto the floor, setting him on all fours. He pushed back into Riku's entrance and thrusted in and out while panting hard. Riku moaned hard as he kept his position before Sora finally came again, except this time, pouring into Riku.

"That was so good Sora...Now...for you," Riku said. He put Sora on all fours and penetrated him with ease before speeding up and pounding into Sora's entrance as he enjoyed the sensational feeling.

"OHHHH RIKU!" Sora yelled as he nearly collapsed from the pleasure he was being given. Suddenly a knock came a few minutes after Sora's outburst. The door then swung open and both Sora and Riku lowered to the floor. Riku was still inserted into Sora.

"Hmm...Thought they were in here," Riku's mom said, closing the door. Sora and Riku hopped back up and Riku thrusted faster into Sora to finish the job. At the last minute before cumming, Riku pulled out and flipped Sora over, then exploded in his face. Sora tried to get as much as he could in his mouth. Riku bent down to kiss him, letting his tongue push through to steal a bit of his own juices. Then he licked Sora's face to get the rest.

"Well...that was fun," Sora said, breathing hard.

"Yeah...but you should probably go before they come back," Riku said. Sora put his clothes on, smiled, and left the room.

"Well...It may have been a tonic to help me woo him and he may not remember tomorrow, but it was worth it," Riku said to himself as he picked up another cup that he was drinking out of before Sora had came over. Riku nearly drank it before noticing it had a strange smell. He stared at it a bit. "Wait a minute." He looked at the cup and noticed he had given Sora the wrong cup. He had mistakenly given Sora a normal drink. Sora had never even touched the tonic. That's odd.


	2. Morning Fun

**_The Lost Keyblade_**

**Part 2**

Sora wondered exactly how Riku used his keyblade to make such a flavor for a drink. It certainly did not taste much like chocolate milk. Either way, he hoped he had not made his feelings for Riku too obvious. He did not want Riku to know. No, no, surely Riku did not get the impression that Sora liked him. It was just normal, best friend, fun. Yeah, that was it.

Sora walked to his house noticing that the shards of glass from that morning were still there. He scooped it up and put it on the neighbors lawn. He went back to his house and went inside. He needed to go to bed since it would be Monday tomorrow. And Monday meant school.

He walked into his room and jumped into bed and quickly went to sleep.

**Morning**

_The Alarm Clock_

At 5:00AM, his alarm clock emitted the annoying high pitched beep in a continous fashion. Sora threw out his arm to silence it. He found the snooze button and hit it. That was better. A minute later, the painful sounding reminder of why you should turn off the alarm clock instead of using the snooze button arose. Sora grabbed it and threw it against the wall, denting the wall greatly. It hit the floor but still beeped. Sora opened his eyes in disguist. That alarm clock will be silenced.

He got out of bed and kicked it, sending it across the room again, but it still beeped, but now it was becoming faster and more annoying. He ran to it and jumped on it, but he landed on the edge of the clock, causing the pressure to send it flying out from under his feet and into his closet full of clothes. He ran to his closet and tryed to find it, but so many clothes hid it so well. He ramparted through countless amounts of shirts and pants, tearing them from the closet and throwing them over his shoulder. He finally found it and went to grab it, but found his arm was caught in a belt. He yanked it out and the belt flipped around to smack him across the face.

"OWW!" Sora yelled. He finally grabbed the alarm clock and hurled it as hard as he could into the wall, causing it to go straight through and fall inside of the wall, still beeping. He looked for his keyblade and suddenly realized Riku never returned it. In that case, he went to his bed and pulled of one of the bed frames. He began to beat against the wall, tearing it apart to destroy his alarm clock. When he got close to it, he accidentally ripped into the floor, sending the clock through the gap.

"Dammit!" He charged downstairs and found it sitting on the kitchen counter sinisterly. He grabbed the largest knife he had and approached the noisy box of pure evil with caution. When he finally got withing stabbing distance, he rose up the knife and began stabbing it psychotically. "Die you machine of evil noises!" It finally stopped as it fell apart to several pieces. He sweeped it into the trash can and sighed. As he looked out the window he noticed a neighbor staring at him. He smiled awkwardly and walked out of sight.

_  
The Bus_

He got ready for school and left his house, standing at the edge of his sidewalk for the bus. As he waited he realized he had forgotten his notebook, he ran back inside to grab it, then as he walked out, the bus drove passed, making Sora very angry.

"Curse you yellow beast!" he yelled. He decided to chase it and force it to stop. How? He was not sure yet. He noticed it stopping to make a turn so as it did, he managed to gain some distance towards it. He made a plan quickly. He chucked his notebook at the back window, which did nothing. No one noticed. He found a rock and threw it, and it broke the back window. The bus did not stop, but one kid stared out it. Sora caught up to the bus, jumped, grabbed the kid and pulled him out. The bus had to stop if it lost a student, but instead, it seemed to be speeding up.

"Hey! What did you do that for?" the angry boy asked. Sora ignored him and chased the bus again. He found a place to cut it off, then realized Kairi's stop was coming up. It had to stop at the bus stop. That is why it was a bus stop. Because busses stoped at them.

Kairi stood there with her arm in a sling for some reason.

"Sora? What are you doing?" she asked.

"I am stealing your bus stop. Whoever is driving that bus, wants to make me miss school," Sora told her.

"Why?" she asked.

"Because they must fear me becoming too smart," Sora replied. The bus flew towards them, but it suddenly looked lke it was not going to stop. Sora had to find something else to stop it. He looked at Kairi, yes that will work. He grabbed Kairi and threw her on the road. The bus however, did not stop for that either. It slammed into Kairi, sending he into a stop sign that doubled over and sent her flying into a window. _That seems vaguely familiar,_ Sora pondered to himself. He latched onto the end of the bus as it went by. The bus began to violently move from left to right. Sora nearly fell off before he finally climbed inside.

"Sora?" Riku asked. "What the heck are you doing?"

"Who is driving today?" Sora asked angrily sitting next to Riku.

"His name is Steve," Riku said.

"Steve? I don't know Steve. Why did he try so hard to pass me up and not get me to school.

"Because, that is what bus drivers do. It is their job to try and make kids miss school. Sora looked at Riku.

"That must be it." The bus arrived at school and parked at the entrance.

_The Locker_

They stepped off the bus and the bus speed out of the school to do whatever bus drivers did when they were not transporting students. Sora walked with Riku to the front doors.

"So, Sora, I was wondering about last night," Riku started. Sora laughed out of no where.

"Yeah, that was some movie," Sora made up, trying to avoid the subject.

"What?"

"Yeah, that movie. It was fantastic," Sora said.

"Sora. I mean about what happened with us," Riku said.

"What are you talking about! Hahaha! It isn't like I am deeply in love with you and I dream about you every night and look at you rpicture every day, and can not wait to see your face every second we are apart. I mean , where did you get that crazy idea?" Sora asked as he walked inside, leaving Riku confused.

He got to the lockers and started to input his combination to one of them. He went to pull it open, but it did not. He put it in again. Nothing

"You stupid storage unit! OPEN!" Sora yelled kicking it wildly. He put in the combination and pulled as hard as he could. His fingers slipped and he fell back into a teacher with coffee. The teacher dropped his coffee into another teacher who was putting her make up on.

"Oops," Sora said.

"How dare you spill your drink on me!" She yelled.

"Me? It was not my fault," he defended himself.

"Yes it was," Sora added, ensuring to keep the blame off him, not wanting to get another detention this week.

"Aha! Witness! I never liked you. You are a repulsive man!" She yelled, putting her make up away.

"Well it is better than being being a tramp!" he cried.

"OH!" She cried in anger.

"How do you like that!" he yelled happily. She slapped him across the face. He pushed her into the wall. She picked up a trash can and nailed him in the head.

"Fight!" Sora called to the students as he walked back to his locker. Everyone went to view the fight. Sora then realized he was at the wrong locker earlier and that it was the one next to it. He input the combonation and it opened. He grabbed his stuff and walked to his first class.

_The Teacher_

Sora got into his history class and sat down. The teacher came in and instantly began drabbling on about something Sora did not care about.

"Sora? Can you answer my question?" the teacher suddenly asked with an annoyingly broad smile placed on her lips.

"What question?" he asked.

"You don't know the question?" she asked.

"No," Sora answered confidentally, finding the question she asked to be easier than he thought.

"Perhaps you should have listened," she stated. Sora was confused. Had he answered incorrectly. How did she know he did not hear the question.

"Wait. I was wrong?" he asked.

"Yes," she stated plainly.

"So the answer was yes?" Sora asked. The teacher looked mildly confused.

"It should have been if you were listening," she told him. Sora thought about that. The answer should have been yes, if he was listening. But he was not listening, so the answer had to be no.

"But I wasn't listening," he told her.

"I know," she said.

"So the answer is no?" he asked her logically.

"No," she told him.

"How is that possible you overgrown mass of human functions?" Sora asked. She cocked an eyebrow.

"The answer is no because you should have been paying attention," she said a bit angry.

"To what, the question or the lecture?" he asked.

"Both," she said.

"The question was not about the lecture," he said.

"That was not even the question I was talking about," she stated.

"What question where you talking about?" he asked.

"The question I asked before that question," she told him.

"What question was asked before that question?"

"Which question?"

"The question you said you asked before the question I answered?"

"I am not telling you that question because you should have been listening," she stated.

"To the question?" Sora asked, now noticing how confused his fellow classmates were.

"And the lecture!" She yelled.

"Well I was trying to listen to the lecture but it was so boring," Sora told her.

"That is because...You are...The problem is..." the students began to laugh at how stumped she was.

"Detention!" She cried.

"What? That is not right?"

"Neither is your mouth!" She ranted.

"My mouth is not right?" he asked.

"ARGHHHH!" She yelled grabbing worksheets for them to do.

"Crazy woman," Sora muttered.

"Geez Sora," Riku said. "Could you drive anyone more crazy?"

"Haha...Silly Riku. What are you talking about? I don't love you," Sora said suddenly.

"What? I did not say you did," Riku said.

"Yeah...right. So, how about the weather today, " Sora asked. The teacher threw down his worksheet that Sora did not want to do.

"Riku, since you two feel like talking so much, you both can talk at detention," she said.

"You're a bitch," Sora said. Riku fought back a laugh as the teacher nearly lost it. She growled all the way up to her desk.

"Oh well, at least you are there, Sora," Riku stated. Sora shifted uncomfortably.

"Yeah. By the way, where is my keyblade?" Sora asked.

"Oh, I brought it today to give back to you. You had to leave pretty fast after we-"

"Ah YES! Haha...that was funny wasn't it. I mean, I was just experimental fun. You know...haha," Sora said.

"What? Listen Sora, I know you did all that on your free will," Riku said. He was good. He knew Sora way too good. He could read him like a book. A short book with no meaning that sat outside of a book store because a small child grew bored with the pop out pictures and threw it on the ground. Yeah, kind of like that.

"Okay, I admit it! I LOVE YOU RIKU!" Everyone turned to stare at the commotion. Riku looked embarrased. The bell rang, but everyone pretty much stayed put to stare at the outburst.

Riku grabbed Sora's hand and pulled him into the hallway.

"Sora! Did you really need to shout that?" Riku asked.

"Sorry, but I got carried away," Sora said.

"Well, I mean, it was kind of obvious the way you were acting. You suck at hiding things," Riku said.

"Kairi would be upset. I think she likes me," Sora said. "Speaking of which, there she is. Why is she in a sling and a cast? Oh well, so my keyblade?" Sora asked. Riku brought Sora to his locker and opened.

"Uh-oh," Riku said.

"What?" Sora asked.

"It is gone."


	3. Undercover Sort Of

_Keep in mind that this was not intentionally going to be longer than one chapter so I really have no clue where this is going. But hey, it is random, so I guess it doesn't matter._

* * *

**Part 3**

_Undercover... Sort of_

It was clear to Sora that the only way he was going to get his keyblade back was to go undercover and search classrooms and offices. It was unexpected. No one would have any idea Sora was on to them. Sora laughed mischeiviously.

"Sora?" Riku asked.

"Huh? Ah! Yes Riku! We are going to go undercover at lunch and raid the school to find my keyblade," Sora said, telling Riku his good plan.

"That is a bad plan," Riku admitted.

"What? No, no dear Riku. It is a good plan. That is why we are doing it at lunch. Because lunch is good. And my plan is good. Putting them both together...well I think you understand," Sora said, walking to his class. Riku was once again confused by Sora's knowledge.

The bell rang before he got into class, but he started towards his seat.

"Your late Sora," the teacher said.

"For what?" Sora asked.

"Class," the teacher said as he stood up.

"Perhaps," Sora said.

"Do you have a reason for being late?" the teacher pressed.

"Because I wasn't early," Sora said.

"Yes why?"

"Why what?" Sora asked.

"Why were you not early?"

"Because I was late," Sora said, though he thought that was obvious. Why was this teacher so oblivious.

"Sora I am aware you were late. Why were you not in this classroom when the bell rang?"

"Because I was in the hallway. I can't do both," Sora said, finding these question quite pointless.

"Forget it. Don't be late again," the teacher gave up. "Everyone get out your assignment for me to collect." Sora got his out. The teacher began picking up the assignments. He remebered this one because he simply asked Riku to do it for him. The teacher went to pick it up and noticed something odd.

"Sora, this has Riku's name on it," the teacher said. Sora must have grabbed Riku's by mistake. Sora erased it and put his on it. "I am not falling for that."

"You don't have to I am handing it to you. No one is asking you to fall anywhere," Sora said.

"You can't turn that in, you did not do the work," the teacher stated.

"How do you know I didn't do the work. Maybe Riku just wrote down the answer after I did the work," Sora said.

"How stupid do you think I am?" the teacher asked.

"On a scale of 1 on to 10?" Sora asked.

"Excuse me? Are insulting me?" he asked.

"7...no wait, 6," Sora said.

"How about you go to the office," he said.

"Huh? Why?" Sora asked.

"Because you are in trouble," the teacher stated plainly. Sora stopped. Trouble? Was it serious trouble? Was someone after him? How did this teacher know Sora was in danger? Sora was grateful.

"Thank you. I appreciate you letting me know," Sora said running from the room. He had to be careful. Who knew what trouble was after him.

He ran down the hallway and saw that the art class had scrap metal lying outside their class room. It was next to thier project which was for some reason a stop sign. Sora picked up a piece of metal just in case something was to happen.

"Hi Sora," Kairi said, startling Sora who spun around and smacked Kairi in the head, knocking her in the middle of the hallway where suddenly a bus crashed through the wall and hit her dead on, throwing her into the stop sign, which doubled back and launched her through a window.

"Hmm...Why was Kairi not in class?" Sora wondered, finding that to be the oddest out of the situation that happened.

He continued onward to the office. When he arrived the principal waited for him to speak.

"I think I am in trouble," Sora stated. " I was told to come here."

"You think?"

"Often," Sora answered. He did seem to think quite a bit, but he imagined most humans did.

"Nevermind. Just sit." Sora sat down.

A couple hours later, lunch arrived. Sora quickly found Riku.

"Are you ready?"

"Are you really making me do this with you?" Riku asked.

"Yes. I am because that is what boyfriends do. They go undercover at lunch time to find keyblades," Sora said.

"Do they," Riku said. "Wait. Boyfriends?"

"Yes you silly boy. We are boyfriends, and soon we will be undercover boyfriends on a mission-" Sora started, but was interupted by a teacher.

"Hello gentlemen-"

"We aren't skipping lunch to find my keyblade," Sora stated. The teacher stopped.

"What?"

"Your accusation is just ridiculous. I mean, if we were going to sneak around campus why would we do it at daylight," Sora said. "That should get him."

"I am still here. I can hear you," the teacher stated.

"Come Riku. Let us go to lunch and have food, that we will eat because it is lunch time. And we eat at lunch time because we are hungry. And we will sit in the cafeteria for the duration of lunch because, there is much to feast upon-" The teacher decided to leave.

"He is gone Sora," Riku stated. "By the way, I don't think anyone would object to us looking around for your keyblade-"

"No my young-"

"Im older than you-" Riku interjected.

"My old...wait that sounds wierd. My old Riku...I mean...if I said my young Riku, it kind of has that catch to it...like in the movies-"

"But it doesn't make sense Sora. Say something like my good friend Riku-"

"No my good friend Riku...no that does not sound powerful like a hero...it has to be young Riku, it makes me sound powerful-"

"No it doesn't-" Riku said.

"Well...My ally Riku...no that sounds stupid...my comrade Riku...my partner in crime Riku...maybe just my partner Riku...no that sounds odd too. I am sorry Riku you are just going to have to accept young because it works for me," Sora said.

"Fine. Whatever," Riku agreed.

"Okay. No, my young- are you rolling your eyes?" Sora asked.

"No...I didn't," Riku lied.

"You rolled your eyes. Look if it means that much to you-" Sora said.

"No it is totally fine. Just do it. Im good. I am ready, go," Riku said.

"Your sure? Okay. No my young Riku...uh...umm...what was I going to say. What did you say before that? Forget it, let us change!" Sora charged to the bathroom with a bag of clothes. He changed into all black.

"Sora that only works at night," Riku said. "I am not putting that on," Riku said.

"No. People wear black because it blends in well with everything," Sora said.

"No, people wear black because it _looks_ good with everything. That is not the case when you are sneaking-" Sora rose his finger to Riku's lips.

"Trust me," Sora said.

"Fine, I am not wearing that though," Riku said. Sora pouted. Well, if something happened he would just be forced to leave Riku behind.

"Lets go!" Sora said, sneaking out of the bathroom. Sora stalked down the hallway, keeping his back pressed to the lockers to keep his visiblity low. He was completely invisible-

"Hi Sora," a girl said. "What are you doing?" she looked at him strangely.

"Riku you blew our cover! Tackle her before she hits the alarm," Sora cried charging at her. Riku stared at him with disbelief. He tackled the girl to the ground. He then pulled out duck tape from no where and taped her mouth.

"Sora, what the hell are you doing?" Riku asked.

"I knew your disguise would not work. Help me put her in the trash can," Sora said, lifting her.

"Sora! Are you crazy? You can't just stuff students into trash cans!" Riku cried as Sora stuffed the student into the trash can.

"Look we went into this knowing it wasn't gonna be easy," Sora said dramatically.

"What? We are looking for your keyblade in a school. It really is not that intense," Riku said.

"Come on," Sora said. Sneaking into the first classroom. He stalked in, noticing the teacher was inside. He was reading a book. Sora slipped through the desks, looking for his keyblade. Sora got up to the teacher when Riku spoke.

"Mr. Range, have you seen a keyblade anywhere?" Riku asked, directing his attention towards Riku entirely.

"HI---YAH!" Sora cried as he karate chopped the teacher into submission...somehow.

"Oh my god! Are you crazy...Wow that worked?" Riku asked.

"Yeah," Sora said pleased.

"Where did you hit him?" Riku asked.

"About here. Just a swift chop," Sora added.

"All along that stuff actually worked," Riku said, admiring the movies he saw it in.

"He doesn't have my keyblade lets move on," Sora said like some kind of army general that was on a fifty times more serious mission then what Sora was on.

They creeped down the hallway...well Sora creeped...Riku walked casually. Someone turned the corner and Sora dived under a bench, earning him a strange look from the person passing by.

"That was close," Sora said.

"She saw you," Riku said. Sora ignored his negative and completely untrue comment. He entered the next classroom to which the teacher looked up as the door opened. He shut it quickly. She came to the door to see who it was.

"Oh no, "Sora whispered. He opened the window and jumped out before Riku could remind him he was on the second floor.

"Oh, did you need something Riku?"

"First aid, maybe," Riku suggested. "Have you seen a keyblade?"

"Um... I believe the librarian said something about it," she said.

"Thank you," Riku said. He met Sora at the stairs. He was limping up them.

"Well...that was maybe a little much," Sora said.

"Yeah, just a little bit. The teacher said she didn't have it-"

"What!" Sora asked. "You mean you snuck in and looked right?"

"Sure. Anyway, I think the librarian saw it," Riku said.

"Good work. We are almost there. We are gonna make it," Sora said. Riku followed Sora to the library, his sneaking a little off with his unfortunate mishap with the fall. Sora looked threw the window to the library.

"She is in there," Sora said. The librarian was standing there like some kind of evil mastermind. She must have been sneaky, possibly more sneaky then Sora if she swiped the keyblade so quickly.

"We must use the air vents," Sora decided.

"That is not going to work," Riku said.

"Give me a boost," Sora said. Riku complied because he knew Sora was in his own little world when it came to this. He boosted him up and Sora removed the grill and climbed inside. It was painfully tight and it seemed to making a lot of noise compared to the ones in the movies or video games. After he finished lifting Sora, Riku went into the library.

"Have you seen a keyblade?" Riku asked as his friend made tons of noise pushing through the vent.

"What is that?"

"My friend," Riku said.

"Why is he in there," She asked.

"He thinks he is sneaking in," Riku said as another grill popped off and landed loudly on the table.

"Riku," Sora whispered as though no one was noticing him come out.

Riku helped him out then Sora dived in between a row of bookshelves.

"So have you seen it?"

"Yes," she said.

"Aha! You stole your my keyblade! I was on to you! Bet you didn't expect me to be spying on you behind that bookshelf! Well I have tricked many before you-"

"What are you talking about-"

"Let him finish," Riku said strumming his fingers across the table.

"-And you are not the first to think they have deceived me. Now where have you put my keyblade?"

"It's in the lost and found."


	4. Skipping School 101 PART 1

_note to readers...this chapter...is EXTREMELY RANDOM...to say at the least...it will leave you questioning my sanity but let me answer that question before you begin...yes...I assure you, i am insane. Now...enjoy...its short...and really odd._

****

**Part 4**

**Skipping School 101**

**A Rather Confusing Plan**

The bell began to ring, as it often did signaling the next of what seemed like so many more hours. Sora still had not found his keyblade. He walked with Riku to the lost and found to where the librarian vaguely remembered someone turning it in to. When they got there, in the box of the lost and found was indeed Sora's keyblade.

"My keyblade, at last," Sora cried.

"Interesting that you actually found it here," Riku admitted.

"We should celebrate!" Sora said suddenly.

"We have like 5 hours of school left Sora," Riku said. Sora smiled mischeiviously.

"Riku we are skipping school," Sora said.

"What?"

"We are skipping school," Sora repeated.

"No," Riku said.

"Yes," Sora responded to Riku.

"We can't," Riku argued.

"We can," Sora told him.

"No."

"I'll give you five dollars," Sora bargained.

"Are you bribing me with cheap cash?" Riku asked.

"You can buy a lot candy with five dollars my good friend," Sora stated as though he was trying to make the most important trade of his life.

"No."

"Yes."

"No."

"Yes."

"No."

"Fine. If you don't want to go, we don't have to," Sora said.

"Okay. I don't want to go," Riku said stubbornly, all ready late for class.

"You'll get over it. Onward!" Sora said. Riku rolled his eyes and for whatever reason whether it be attraction or love he followed Sora.

"Okay. We are gonna have to sneak out of the school," Sora said.

"Oh no," Riku said recalling Sora's stealth skills.

"First we need a broom," Sora said. Riku did not ask, but simply grabbed one from the janitors closet.

"Here," Riku said, ignoring a strange look from someone passing by.

"HIIIIIYAAA!" Sora threw the broom at the individual who exploded into 75,000 pieces of liquid strawberry...Yes I'm kidding. They fell over in pain...a pain only a strange boy throwing a broom at your face could bring...yes...that kind of pain, you surely know the one I speak of...ah yes...it hurts quite a bit those brooms. So the person fell, (nope, not identifying whether they are male or female, simply insert the image of someone you hate, it simply makes it funnier. It makes no difference if it male or female...or a unicorn with a single individually wrapped blueberry muffin stapled precisely on the back of it's body and...never mind.)

So, the broom hits their face.

"Sora! Are you okay?" Riku asked.

"What is your problem?" the person and/or unicorn with muffin asked.

"Okay...now that we have a willing decoy, we can get out of here," Sora stated grabbing the person by the hand...or if you chose the unicorn with muffin, by the hoof I guess, I don't know.

"How is this willing. You hit them with a broom!" Riku pointed out.

"Yes," Sora said.

"So...Why would they willingly agree to anything you had to say?" Riku asked specifically.

"Because I can find another broom," Sora said.

"No please don't," the person and/or unicorn with muffin said...or neighed...i guess.

"See," Sora said.

"Oh," Riku stated surprised.

"You doubt me too much."

"Because we are getting lucky as it is. I bet we get caught," Riku said.

"HA! I laugh upon that foolish, pathetic attempt to hinder my ability to escape the jail cell that is school. I assure you I will get out of this school...and you will owe me...things."

"What...kind of things?" Riku asked.

"Oh silly Riku...I will inform you of your duties after I suceed in planning out my perfect plan.

"Which is?" Riku asked.

"You will see...You will all see. Muahahahahahahaha!"

_Sorry, but you must wait for the next chappy before finding out Sora's masterful idea. I know...short...but I had writer's block on this one so as soon as I finally came up with this...bizzare idea i had to just complete this chapter before moving on._


	5. Skipping School 101 PART 2

**_Sora's masterful Plan of Strange confusion_**

**__**

"Okay Riku, hand me the shovel," Sora said desperately, as he peeked beyond the hallway of students scattering to class.

"What...We never had a shovel...Just this person you kidnapped."

"Borrowed,Riku...Borrowed. And...oh yes...that's right. Riku throw that person into the crowd. The students will be frightened and will use their defense mechanism to burrow holes in the school-" Sora started as Riku waited to cut in.

"What? Students can't burrow holes in school." Sora laughed...hard.

"Oh Riku. Of course not! That is precisely why we are throwing this person i 'borrowed' at them. To activate the defense mechanism they did not even know they had. Geez Riku, don't you read the New York Times," Sora stated as he wringed his hands sinisterly. Riku sweared he twitched.

"Okay. . .First of all, what newstand on Destiny Islands are you picking up a copy of the New York Times and Second...What in that paper could have possibly stated that?" Riku asked.

"Ha...haha...Oh...ha...Riku...my dear Riku filled with such unresolved hate..."

"What hate?"

"Riku the New York Times speaks to me. IT SPEAKS TO SORA! And let me tell you Riku...it has things to say. Things I wasn't prepared to hear but none the less I knew I had to listen. This Riku...is why I know these things..." Sora made a dramatic hand gesture towards the ceiling. "This is why I am full of knowledge. MUHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!" Lightning flashed coincedintally.

"Can I just please go to class. Look its raining we will get wet," Riku begged.

"Riku, you as well as I know you enjoy being wet."

"No...what...I don't."

"Oh Riku."

"I don't"

"Liar. You like the wetness. The mighty power of WETNESS," Sora cried.

"It's not true," Riku stated.

"Oh it is too. A little?"

"Okay maybe a little," Riku gave in giving it more thought than he wanted to.

"Ha. I win. I like to win," Sora spoke as he interlaced his hands and popped his foot up for exactly 3 seconds. Riku cocked his head but ignored it...mostly.

"Okay so you want me to just through this person and get it over with," Riku said, giving up arguing with Sora's mind...it was hard...and scary.

"Yes Riku. DO IT!" Sora cried gesturing a bowling ball at the students. Riku somehow managed to toss the person far down the hallway. Sora didn't watch the result like Riku did. Sora knew what would happen. They will dig. Riku noticed everyone move and mostly ignore the person. Everyone continued.

"Sora no one is," Riku started.

"The digging has began. GIVE ME THE SHOVEL!!! WOO!" Sora cried.

"I told you we don't have a shovel. Nothing about a shovel was mentioned-"

"You didn't bring the shovel! Riku...What on Destiny Islands batroom stalls were you thinking. When you woke this morning, how could you not have known not to bring a shovel! We are doomed. Plan B!"

"Oh great," Riku muttered as Sora grabbed his arm and and down the hallway.

"Look Riku...They aren't digging any more. We weren't fast enough... Can't believe you didn't bring the shovel."

"What shovel?" Riku sadly ignored the complete situation becuase he knew the shovel incident was not his fault.

"Ah principal!!! Throw the shovel...oh yeah. Riku did not bring the shovel," Sora stopped and crossed his arms.

"Umm...Shovel?" The princapal was confused.

"Well after the students started digging we needed the shovel-"

"First of all i didn't know i was supposed to bring the shovel," Riku told the princapal who looked confused.

"He knew princapal. He just doesn't believe in me like you do," Sora said.

"Psh. I don't even own a shovel."

"He owns a shovel...I seen it."

"Liar," Riku cried.

"You dare call me a liar?" Sora asked.

"I do!" The princapal just walked away not wanting to even ask questions.

"Then I will not give you your Happy Wednsday gift!" Sora yelled turning and crossing his arms and pouting.

"You got me a Happy Wednsday gift?" Riku asked

"Maybe."

"Oh fine...I can't be mad at you anyway," Riku said thoughtfully.

"Really?"

"Really."

"You mean it?"

"I mean it."

"Seriously?"

"Seriously."

"umm...promise?" Sora asked thinking of another thing to add.

"Promise...don't push it," Riku said seeing Sora take a breath to propmt another question.

"Here you are then," Sora said, opening a random locker and somehow pulling out the gift in a awkwardly long box.

"Wow what is it?" Riku said opening it. Sora looked so excited.

"Just open it." Riku opened the marvoulous box and found...a shovel.

Riku twitched...violently twitched.


	6. A Random Day of no particular importance

**_On a Random Day of no particular importance..._**

**__**

"Sora..." Riku said disgruntled.

"WEEEEEEEEEEE!" the aforementioned boy screamed into the sky of blue wonderfulness.

"Sora...Please...Please let's go." Riku said...again disgruntled.

"WEEEEEEEEEEHEEEEEEEEE!" The aforementioned boy in the first line screamed yet again to the sky of blue wonderfulness.

"Sora! Come on!" Riku yelled with an angry stomp.

"WOOOOOOOOO...WOOOO...YAAAAA! YAY! WEEEE WOOOO HOOOOO...HAHAHAHA WEEE!" Sora cried with unrelented happiness that shot through the blue sky like toothpaste shoots through. . . ummm. . .stuff...(please omit bad metaphor and then continue)

"Sora, people are looking at you like you are a freak!"

"WHAT...HAHAHA"

"People are looking at you like you are a-"

"HUH...WEEEEEE"

"People are-"

"AH...WEEEEEEE"

"PEO-"

"WOAH! WEEEEEE"

"SORA!!!!! GET OFF THE DAMN MOOSE!" Riku yelled, unable to stay calm any longer. Sora looked startled.

"But...I have several seconds left...It was my only quarter," Sora frowned as he sat sadly on the slowly rocking moose contraption in the front of the store.

"Fine." Riku waited. Sora sat, trying to gain back his excitement of riding the moose.

"RAWR!"

"What?" Riku asked.

"I can't get back into it now, Riku. You ruined it!"

"Whatever."

"Riku!" Sora cried.

"What?"

"Riku!!!"

"What!"

"Riku!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

"WHAT!?!?!?!"

"Why are we here...?" Sora asked.

"Because the author apparently had an overwhelming urge to write about you riding a moose. I am here because the author needed conflict in this pathetic scene. He used me to get a cheap laugh...This upsets me quite a bit Sora..."

"I'm sorry Riku...I love you...Let's kick the author later, okay?" Sora suggested.

"...Okay."

"Quarter?" Sora asked.

"Fine"

And Sora hopped back on the moose, and all was well. Later that night...Riku and Sora snuck into my room...and kicked me in my shin...it felt...uncomfortable...I did not enjoy it.

* * *

Dear readers...Sorry for those who sat through that, but I needed to write it because I wanted to write about Sora riding on a moose...Lets face it...someone had to do it. 


	7. The Next Chapter or whatever

**The Drive Through Drive By**

"My goodness Riku! Look at that ant," Sora said with a tone of interest on their way out of school.

"What ant?" Riku said, slightly ignoring him as he noticed the overcast of clouds...overcasting and stuff.

"The BIG one!" Sora shouted, turning heads. After they saw it was Sora, they turned back, realizing it was just him. It was not the first time Sora made random outbursts.

"On the sidewalk?" Riku asked, now a bit interested in seeing this gargantuan, after all, who would not be.

"Yes. He is so LARGE!" Sora shouted again. Sora fell to his knees to revel in the sight of this miracolous ant crawling upon the very sidewalk Sora walked on. It was...neat. Riku joined him.

"Where... What? That thing? It isn't that big," Riku said. Sora gasped.

"Riku! That thing could take down an Empire!" Sora stated.

"You really think that, don't you?" Riku asked.

"Ah-huh," Sora smiled, biting his lower lip.

"You're so cute when you do that," Riku admitted. Sora giggled, then fell over.

"MONKEYS!" A random child ran by yelling, for no apparent reason.

"Huh?" Riku muttered at the disturbance.

"Monkey? I like monkeys," Sora stated absent-mindedly.

"What was that about?" Riku asked as the child ran into the street. No one really stopped so he obviously got hit.

"You know monkeys are pretty smart," Sora told Riku, ignoring the child getting hit by a car, as did everyone on the road as they just kept going.

"I hear that," Riku said.

"I'm hungry," Sora said.

"Wanna go get some food?" Riku asked.

"Okay! To the RIKU-MOBILE!" Sora cried, running to the parking lot. He jumped over cars and elderly woman in wheelchairs who were apparently congregating in the school parking lot...it could happen. Sora arrived at the awesomely amazing car that belonged to the one, the amazing-

"Sora, I don't have a car," Riku reminded him.

MoNkEy

"Oh yeah. Darn it Riku!" Sora yelled to the heavens of the overcasting clouds...still overcasting and stuff.

"How could you forget that. I've never had one," Riku said as Sora looked shocked and appaled. The elderly lady's rolled by playing a game of tag.

"I'll just hot wire it, hold on," Sora said.

"What? No!" Riku said. "That's crazy...and illegal."

"I'm Sora, laws are different for me. Lot's of laws. Including gravity. Have you seen my hair?" Sora said.

"True..." Riku said. Sora grabbed a random lock picking set from his book bag.

"Where did that come from?" Riku asked.

"Mom gave it to me. She said..."Sora put this in the cabinet, and never use it" So I took it," Sora said.

"Why does your mom have it?" Riku iquired.

"Ha. Cuz she is a mom. Mom's are wierd like that. That's how they know everything," Sora said plainly. Sora unlocked the car and hopped in the driviers seat with excitement. He twithced he was so happy, it was actually really scary.

"No."

"Please-"

"No."

"Ri-"

"No."

"Fine."

"Out," Riku demanded. Riku switched places with Sora and Sora bounced happily in the passanger seat as he watched the elderly woman switch to a game of lacross.

"Where did they get all that stuff...?" Riku asked.

"I...dunno. FOOD RIKU!" Sora shouted out of nowhere.

"Okay...How do you hot wire this?" Riku asked.

"Like this," Sora crawled over his lap and...did it...somehow.

"You scare me," Riku said. Sora giggled.

"I know things."

They quickly passed by the wheelchair-ridden women playing dogeball now, and drove to the nearest fast food place. They got in line at the drive through and they thought of all the wonderful, greasy, artery clogging, goodness they could feast upon.

"Riku, I want all of it...So much goodness in my TUMMY," Sora shouted.

"I have ten dollars," Riku told him.

"Oh...I wanna a cheeseburger with...umm...lots a cheese...and lots of burger," Sora said to Riku.

"Lots of...burger?" Riku asked.

"Yeah Riku, and you have to say it like that, or it won't turn out right!" Sora insisted.

"Sora, if I say that they will ask what the hell I mean," Riku told him.

"No they won't. They will know!!! They are the fast food gods! They know how to make...yummy burgerness that melts in your belly, not in you mouth."

"That...doesn't even sound good...or right...or moral for that matter," Riku rebuttled.

"What is taking those people so darn long! Stupid ducks!" Sora cried.

"Did you just call them stupid ducks?" Riku asked.

"No. These ducks out here can't figure out how to get over that fence when there is an opening over there," Sora said.

"Oh."

They waited...for a bit.

Monkeys are mean

"Come on!" Riku shouted. "How long does it take to order?"

"Stupid cow," Sora exclaimed.

"What, the cow can't figure it out either?" Riku asked looking at the fence.

"No, that guy is a cow, how much could he possibly eat, geez!"

MoNkEy...MONKEY...monkey monkey monkey...duck...er... ...i meant...MONKEY

"This is taking way too long," Riku admitted.

"I will solve this problem. You wait here," Sora said. Now Riku, being Riku, would normally, say "No wait Sora..don't go" but Riku honestly knew better by know and just let him do whatever it was he was going to do.

Sora hopped out of the car. Firstly he assisted the ducks to the hole. Stupid ducks. (monkey) Then he stepped up to the car to to see what was taking so long.

"HEY YOU!" Sora cried.

"Sora...the ahead of me," Riku suggested.

"Oh..Hi Riku!" Sora said. Then he stepped up to the other car where a large, morbidly obese man was ordering...still. (side note... The Black Squirrel Monkey (_Saimiri vanzolini_) has the smallest distribution of any South American primate. The species only occurs in a small area of Amazonian floodplain at the confluence of the Japura and Amazon Rivers in northern Brazil..._Dylan Schwindt: The Distribution on the Black Squirrel Monkey. February 16, 2001. __Sora walked up to the man ordering. _

"Yeah...And I also want a extra cheeseburger, and a large cheesey cheese fry, and fry cheese, and burger bits,and cheese, and cheese with corn, and corn, and burger bugerness fry cheese..."

"Hey," Sora said calmly.

"Huh?" The man said...confused.

"Your gonna die you waste of the gravitational pull on the earth. Stop ordering and move the fucking line," Sora said.

"Oh...umm...uhh...hmm...hungry...yum..." The man was already distracted by the food in the picture in the background. Sora climbed in the window, turned the wheel, and hit the gas,then jumped out. The vehicle flew down the hill and crashed into the fence, crushing each and every du...just kidding...hehe...the ducks are fine.

Riku pulled up and Sora jumped in.

"You know Riku, I'm not all that hungry," Sora admitted.

"Me niether really." The drive threw person spoke through the voice box.

"Okay, your total comes out to 578 dollars and 37 cents, is that all?" The poor guy sounded exhausted.

"Actually, just give me two cheesburgers and thats it," Riku said. The man's convulsional twitches of frustration could be heard through the speaker.

"...Fine...Okay...2 dollars and 13 cents...Please...PULL THE FUCK ARO...I mean...please...pull around...ahem..."

So Riku and Sora got there cheesburgers...which looked as though they were arranded angrily for whatever reason..blah blah..and they went home and yeah, i'll tell you guys the rest later in the next chapter...The End...MONKEY.

Okay...over half of you are really confused and frustrated because of the random monkey texts in places and the random monkey statistic in here...Well...Sorry, but anyone with ADD is laughing there ass off right now, cuz they actually understood the change of subject in that drastic subject and still know exactly what is going on...hehe...what can I say...I had to dedicate a story to the attention deficit people who can't...Hey look a butterfly...


End file.
